A year ago I got myself entangled with a real assclown. He's a friend of a friend. I met him a few times last fall and I can't lie...I felt butterflies. I was definitely attracted to him. My friends said he seemed attracted to me as well. But he lived in a different city and I'm not interested in a long distance relationship.
Then our mutual friends got married. On a cruise. And asked us both to go. And share a room. We both said yes and it was a bad idea (so very bad). We got along great, spend loads of time together, flirted, danced closely and had a ball. He also instigated a pillow fight one morning which lead to cuddling on the floor which lead to us making out for hours and me somehow loosing my shirt.
In the midst of the making out I told him that I was a virgin. Seemed like the thing to do at the time. Be honest. He then wouldn't have sex with me. Said I deserved more (which is true). Course the next morning and the next night (the last night of the vacation) we fooled around more. Still no sex...unless oral counts. First time I'd done that too.
We said good-bye the next day and I basically cried the whole way home. I imagined myself in love with him. I wanted to be with him. And I stupidly thought he wanted to be with me too.
For the next 3 months we chatted online (red flag) just about every day. After 2 months I found out that he had been accepted to medical school in the same town I live in. My excitement was tempered by the way I discovered it...on his newly created plenty of fish profile (red flag). Yet I had a profile too. And we still chatted everyday. I decided to wait until I
Looking back I should have known better. I certainly would have told friends to forget him. And that little voice inside me was telling me to forget him. I didn't listen.
He finally moved home a few days before my birthday. He came to my birthday party (late...red flag). He asked myself and our mutual friends to go camping. He asked me to help shop for the tent we shared. We flirted. He helped me shop for some camping gear later that week and once again we flirted, were playful, random touching. I thought he might kiss me...instead I he told me he wasn't interested in anything but being friends.
No...we can't be friends. I didn't slam the door right away although I claimed to. I told him the next day (in person) that I needed space to get over how I felt and if he cared at all he'd leave me alone. I asked him why it happened in the first place and he said we were having fun, flirting, getting along and got caught up in feelings and hormones. He said he didn't see us being long term and basically that I deserved more. I didn't talk to him for weeks but then opened the door a little. I asked him about how school was going every once and awhile. Nothing big. We were at the wedding of other mutual friends and at the same table. Nothing big happened but we were a little flirty. And the male half of the couple we went camping with kept making comments to me about how I should go home with him and how we danced so well together. He even drove myself and the camping couple home. I thought ok...I could be friends with him.
A week later I found out from the male half of the camping couple that this assclown has a girlfriend. That he barely knows. Who lives on the other side of the ocean.
Game. Set. Match. The door is firmly closed. He is blocked on everything I could block him on. I don't want to see his name or hear it.
My camping friends (particularly the male) warned me constantly that this guy was messed up with relationships. He picks girls who are moving away or live away. Girls he can't have a real relationship with. He quits jobs just because he hates them without any backup. He needs someone elses advice to pick out clothes. Commitment phobe anyone.
I'm done with his game. He made me feel used. I should have trusted my own judgement. I do not intend on settling. Thank god he was not my first.
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