Keep Hanging on

I can't seem to figure out why I hang onto the idea of a potential relationship or dating partner or whatever long past when I should just let it go.  I do eventually let it go but long after I know in my head that I should.

Case in point is D.  We're both on pof and he wrote me a little over 2 weeks ago.  We chatted back and forth on the site for a few days and it was great.  Lots in common and he seemed like a nice normal guy.  I gave him my email address to make chatting easier.  At the time he was in a different province for work so I let not meeting go until he got back here.  We continued to chat and it was still awesome.  I decided I wanted to meet him and it seemed like he would want to meet me too.

Now he did try to start conversations about cuddling, etc pretty early after I gave him my email address.  Lots of girls like the cuddling thing so I let it go really.  Then last Friday night things escalated sexually online.  I liked it so it wasn't bad or anything.  He sent me a picture of his penis but told me I didn't have to look.  I did.  He wanted me to reciprocate and instead of immediately saying no I said that I'd consider it.  Apparently that was the complete wrong thing to say.  I actually did consider it and then thought better of it.  Which I told him.  And then he was a complete dick.

Saturday morning I wrote him saying that I wasn't looking for a fling or one night stand.  That I was looking to date around and see if something leads to a relationship.  I even told him I was a virgin although I have fooled around a little.  A very little.  I figured I'd put it all out there and see if he came back.  He did which I took to be a good sign.

He came home last Sunday.  We chatted on Sunday night and he was complaining about being lonely.  He bemoaned other girls that have stood him up in the past.  He told me a little about his relationship and sexual past.  It seemed to be going ok.  Then he asked me if I was lazy in bed.  And how good I am at giving head.

WTF! 

We were having a sensible conversation that somehow got steared that way.  I once again told him I wasn't interested in a fling, one night stand, blah blah.

Then he said we were having too many misunderstandings and bickering to probably have anything.  I said you don't know unless you meet me and that I'm not the type of girl to jerk guys around.  Then he brought up the picture....again.  I said that he can either meet me or not and that I was sorry about that.

It was one bloody misunderstanding.  My take is that I'm afraid that a guy is only interested in sex (particularly online guys) and he's been hurt in the past.  Ugh.

He did write me once since then.  I wrote him back but nothing since then.  Ass.  I know I made mistakes and its all a learning process but damn I wanted to meet this guy.  We did have lots in common and I think we would have gotten along well.

My head is telling me to move on but my heart is saying wait a little longer.

What was he thinking!

Just on pof and saw this profile...its too funny not to share.

Username:  Cumstain
Title:  I'm what perfection strives to me
Profession: chronic masturbater

About Me
i like stuff, some stuff is more fun than other stuff. i'm more interested in the funner stuff because i likes to have fun. I'm also prone to crying, i'm too sensitive for my own good and people end up making fun of me for it and that makes me cry even more. the cycle continues forever :'(

First Date
i'd probably get tight in the pants really quickly and be done before you even know it.


I don't think I'm going to respond to this one...

Some people's youngsters!

So I was chatting to Mr Penis pic again last night.  I told him on Sat morning that I wasn't some skank who was just going to sleep with him and I was looking to date around right now and would like a relationship to develop with someone (not necessarily him).  He wrote me after so I went with it.

He was complaining about being lonely.  That nobody picked him up at the airport, that he had to eat alone and basically that he was lonely.  He told me that his mother gave him the brush off when he was home. I felt bad for him.

I think this is his game.

Somehow things got around to sex....again.  He told me that I should know that even though he hasn't had a girlfriend in the last 6 years he has dated and had sex.  He estimated around 15 girls in that time.  I said that the past is the past as long as he's clean.  I thought it was good that he shared this information.  Its stuff one should know really.

Then he asked me how good I was at giving head.  Yes I'm serious.  I replied that I told him that I wasn't looking for a one night stand.  Then he got defensive.  I said that I didn't want the first guy I slept with to take off right after.  He knows I'm a virgin.  Once again he was defensive and again brought up that he thought I was going to send him some boobie shots after he sent me his penis shot.  I already apologized for that misunderstanding.  He thinks there have been too many misunderstandings (really its just the one that keeps happening).  I told him that online communication is made for misunderstandings and either take a chance and meet me or that;s it.

Verdict is that he wants to get in my pants.

I might let him yet....the picture was impressive.  And I need this cherry popped already.

Blunt Honesty

So I met this one guy online that I really kinda liked.  We had the same interests and I really really want to meet him.  Or I did anyways.

We've been chatting online all week.  He's been away all week for work.  A few days after we started chatting he started talking about cuddling, etc and I wasn't comfortable talking like that to someone I didn't really know.  Which I told him.  I'm not sure if he got the reason or not.  He said that he was basically tired of girls who weren't interested in him physically.  I think he's been burned by the friend zone before.

Last night things went a little too far.  Our conversation got extremely heated.  Extremely.  He sent a photo.  I did not reciprocate.  Unfortunately by saying I was considering it I was teasing and leading him on.  I said I just wasn't comfortable sending that type of photo to someone I didn't know.

Today I was as blunt and honest as I could be.  I told him that I have very little experience, I was burned by someone who only wanted to fool around before and that I was a virgin.  He seemed to be alright with that.  I also told him that I wasn't a skank and wasn't looking for a one night stand or a fling.  He clarified that I was looking for a 1 on 1 relationship.  I said for now I'm looking to date but eventually that's what I want with somebody.

I haven't heard from him since.

I think I was right and he was looking for sex.  Which is too bad really.  The picture he sent me certainly turned this girl on.  But that's not the type of thing I want.  I have too much respect for myself to sleep with any dude.  If I wanted to just have sex I could pick someone up downtown.

Don't be late

The first meeting

The first time you meet someone for coffee, dinner, whatever is very important.  It gives that first impression and sometimes first impressions can be hard to change.

The guy I had a date with yesterday gave a very bad first impression.

I met this guy online (pof) and after a few messages he manned up an asked me out.  We had plans to meet at a local coffee place at 3pm.  He texted me at 2:45 to change the place as he liked the coffee better somewhere else.  He could have mentioned that in the morning when we made the plans but ok.  I was there a little before 3 when he texted that he was going to be 15 minutes late but apparently had a very good reason.  hmmm.

Then he told me what he was wearing and what car he was driving.  Makes sense.  Then he asked me what I was wearing...and what kind of car I was driving.  What I'm wearing makes sense...the car thing...not so much.

I had to go to the bank anyways so I went while I was waiting.  During this time he asked if I had kids.  And if I wanted kids.  Dude...you do not know me.  Do not ask those questions.  What the hell!  At least meet me first.  That and I clearly answer both of those questions on my profile which apparently you did not take the time to look at.  I'm guessing he looked at the pic and that was it.

Went back to the coffee place.  By this time he texted that he was going to be at least another 5 minutes late.  I decided that if I got through the line and he still wasn't there I was out of there.  But I was getting the coffee.

And so I left.  After 25 minutes.  He gave me no explanation but was really sorry.  He wanted to go feed ducks with me today. 

No dice dude.  You had your chance and blew it.

Online Dating

I heard the other day that 1 in 5 relationships now start online.

Problem is where I live there really is only one online dating option - plenty of fish or pof.  Which is sketchy.  Probably because its free.

I tried eHarmony a few months ago.  A friend of mine in Toronto is trying it and she gets like 20 matches a day.  You can get matched for free so I thought what the heck.  I at least wanted to see if its worthwhile in my small neck of the woods.

The verdict was no.  I got 5-10 matches a day and after about 5 days I was getting no matches with 1000 miles from where I live.  And I am not a long distance girl (see the previous post for my feelings on that).  Thank god I didn't pay!

So its back to pof for me!  I do know successful relationships and marriages that have come from the site.  I was maid of honor at a pof wedding last fall.  So it does work but you have to be careful and picky.  I might want to get it on but I'd at least like them to stay around for awhile after.  No bail immediately.  I know people who've had that experience with pof as well.

This time I'm giving it an honest try.  Unlike a few months ago when the only reason I was on there was to see how often the assclown was on there.  This went on for 2 months before I finally got the hint.  Well not really as his disinterest in a relationship was said to my face.

Good news is I already have a date for next week!  Yeah me!