The Body

Its an unsettling feeling to get more attention from men after losing a great deal of weight.   It shouldn't surprise me but somehow it just confirms what I thought all along.  And it saddens me.

Over the years I've been up and down with my weight but I've never been what one would consider skinny.  My first dabble in Weight Watchers was for my prom when the biggest size available in the dress I wanted was a 14.  It fit but I was squeezed in so I lost 10-15 lbs in time for prom.

Then I gained it back.  Plus more (of course!)

I got serious about losing weight after I finished my first degree.  I had 4 months between finishing and starting a job so I had time to cook and exercise.  I got down to about 155lbs and a size 10.  Not bad!  I felt great.  And I actually kept it off for a few years.

Then I had the year from hell and gained it back.  Plus more.  Surprise!

I lost weight again when I met J.  Him and I were friends but I was attracted to him like mad.  I think it was the guitar/singing things...he played for me all the time when we were alone.  Nothing ever happened.  But I was too nervous to eat and actually lost 30lbs without trying.

Of course I gained it back.

3 years ago I started on the path again.  I started a regular exercise class, started running and eating right.  Its been a slow process but I've gone from around 215 to 160.  I have clothes in my closet that are a size 8!  Never thought that would happen.

Which brings me back around to men.  I've noticed I definitely get more looks when I go out now then I did before.  Its flattering but unsettling as I'm the same person.  My inside self hasn't changed.  I still like video games, Star Trek, having random dance parties and playing board games.   I'm still a ginger.

But I guess I can enjoy the attention.  My body isn't perfect but I've worked hard to get it. :)